Lana's back
by Linda09
Summary: This is a humorous look at Clark & Lois' reaction to Lana returning once again. M for occasional strong language.


This is my contribution to the Lana being cured and coming back to be with Clark again scenario. A couple are only short, and one is a little bit longer.

Linda

**

Lana (rushes in to house): "Clark I'm back"

Lois (looks up): "You said it wrong Lana; shouldn't it be 'I'm baaaaaaaaack'; y'know like in Poltergeist?"

*

Lana: "Clark I'm cured."

Clark: "So!"

*

Lana: "Clark I'm cured."

Clark (quickly gives her big hug): "Oh hey that's fantastic."

Lana: "Yeah, now we can be together forever."

Clark (steps back just as quickly): "You've gotta be fucking kidding me!"

**

At the knock, Lois opens the front door and smiles wildy in greeting "Lana I've been expecting you and boy am I glad that you're here..." She rushes Lana into the Kent house and calls out cheerfully "Hey Smallville you've got a visitor"

"Who is it Lo?" He walks into the kitchen, see's Lana and his face falls "Ah shit!"

"Pay up."

Lana looks between them "What's going on?"

"Well Lois and I made a bet. She said that you'd be in Smallville within ...." turns to Lois "...when did you say Lana would be here Lo?"

"I said that she'd be knocking on your door any day now; you said that she wouldn't be coming back ever." She smiled wickedly "Actually you said....."

Clark coughed "Right, so anyway Lois was expecting you to show up, I wasn't and we kinda made a bet on it."

"That's right Smallville, and I win so you owe me $100." Lois smiled cheerfully.

"How did you know that I'd come back Lois?"

"Oh it took no brain power to figure it out Lana. See Clark and I are kind of dating, so I knew it was only a matter of time before your 'Clark is enjoying life without me' radar would kick in, and you'd be turning up like a bad smell."

"You totally called it Lo." He agreed grudgingly.

"Told ya."

Clark shook his head at Lois, then turned to Lana and scowled "Can't you turn your radar off for once; I was really hoping to win the $100 bucks."

"But you begged me to stay when I came back before."

"Well yeah, but what else was I supposed to do? You had that kryptonite shit inside you, and I felt bad; god knows why but I did, so I begged you to stay. I knew it was a safe bet that you wouldn't, so I was pretty safe in pleading with you to do so."

"You didn't want me to stay." Tears begin to slide down Lana's cheeks.

"**Don't cry**!" Clark quickly yells which of course makes Lana sob.

"Ah fuck!" He turns to Lois and grimaces "How much do I owe you now?"

"Let's see..." Lois grabs pad and pen and does quick calculation "$100 for her turning up, $200 cause I said she'd cry, and you said that she'd be a brave little soldier..." snorts in amusement "...let's give her five minutes and see if everything else I said would happen does."

"You didn't want me to stay the last time." Lana repeats tearfully.

"Oh hell no." Clark rolls his eyes.

"But...but..." Lana sniffs, trails off and lifts her eyes to his beseechingly.

"That's another $100 bucks Clark, I told you she found it impossible to complete a sentence."

"No way, you said that she couldn't complete a sentence without blubbering or blathering." He rapidly points out.

"And is she still crying or isn't she?" Lois asked politely.

Clark grimaces "How did I not notice this before?"

Lois just shrugs "Don't know, don't care but I'm making out like a bandit."

"But how can you be with Lois, she doesn't know your ....."

"DON'T SAY IT!!!" Clark quickly yells.

"Secret." Lana weakly finishes the sentence.

"She said the word Clark, didn't I tell you she was obsessed with that word." Lois humms in glee and adds another $100 to the sum.

"Wait..." Lana holds up hand as tears continue to fall silently down her cheeks "You're trying to convince Lois to be your girlfriend?"

"Yep; actually I say that she is my girlfriend, but Lois says that I should be so lucky."

"But you've only ever l...."

He hastily slaps his hand over Lana's mouth "Don't, for the love of everything holy, don't finish that sentence."

"Take your hand away Clark." Lois grins big and wide.

He does, and Lana says reproachfully "You've only ever loved me."

"She said it." Lois writes down another $100 then looks at him and grins tauntingly "Why don't you just hand me over your pay-check; it'll be less painful for you than this."

"I thought I was your d...."

Clark screeches.

"Destiny." Lana tells him.

Lois chortles happily "This is like the best day EVER!!"

Clark rushes Lana to the door and pushes her outside "You can't stay any longer or I'll be stone broke." Closes door and turns back to a smiling Lois "What's my tally."

"You owe me $700 and I want it all in small bills."

"How about I pay it off in kisses?"

"How about you hand over the cash?"

Lana opens the door again "How could I have trusted yo....."

He quickly slams door then turns back to see Lois grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"She didn't say it."

"That's because you slammed the door in her face, but I knew she had to slip the word 'trust' somewhere." Lois begins to do the snoopy dance "That's the bonus; I've made a cool $1,000 and it's not even 10am."


End file.
